I started dating Lewis when I was 18 years old.
Yep going on 7+ years, I could barely call myself an adult when it all started... seeing as I was still in my "teen" years.
Similar to my age our relationship has grown from those wild teen years into mature adolescence. We have fought, made up, broke up, got back together, moved in, moved out, built and exited businesses together... BUT LOOKING BACK these are the TOP 3 THINGS THAT CHANGED OUR RELATIONSHIP >
Raise your hand if you have ever done the following:
Appeared on the outside to be listening to someone speak ... but internally your mind is off thinking about something else
Appeared to listen to someone's request, but then totally ignore it and push your own agenda
Now let's be honest EVERYONE at some point in their life has done the above two actions.
Not listening, understanding and absorbing what your partner has to say is going to lead to major cracks in your relationship.
Communication starts with the self. You can't force your partner to listen to you, BUT you can start listening and showing your loved one what it means to be heard.
Listening to your partner doesn't mean that you have to agree on everything they say.. but how will you know what each other wants without first hearing each other's needs.
Passively listening and not actively hearing.
A quick google search will show you that the 2 most common things couples argue over are sex and money.
So not being heard (refer back to point 1) and feeling as though you are bringing more to the table than your partner... Which brings us to thing 2 "Fair Exchange".
2. Fair Exchange
"To give equal value in the creation of an honest deal."
What are you bringing to the table and what is your partner bringing to the table?
Over the course of my relationship with Lewis, our "Fair Exchange" spreadsheet has changed and evolved as our relationship has changed and evolved.
(Yes, we have an excel spreadsheet - Head to http://lewismocker.com/couples for more info)
For example, when we first started dating I was very disempowered financially so I balanced out my side of the equation with acts of service etc. As we have both grown and increased our finances this equation has changed.
Lewis has a high value on Finances and Business and much less on Health and Fitness, where I have a high value on Health and Fitness. So it's important to remember that even with the financial equation changing be mindful of what areas of life you as individuals are uniquely inspired by and allow each other to shine in those areas.
Currently in our household, I love that I get to shine and have command over what we eat and what items our home needs to look aesthetically pleasing // while lewis has command and dominion over more of our family wealth aspects.
Yes, you read that correctly... INDEPENDENCE.
Having projects, activities, businesses, interests etc outside of the relationship and each other is very important.
As mentioned in our Power Couple Masterclass - Our definition of a Power Couple is: "A couple who have individually empowered all 7 areas of their life, and when bonded, their power is magnified."
> Individually Empowered <
Everything starts with the "Self".
For you to have the best relationship possible with your partner you need to make sure that YOU are individually fulfilled and inspired by yourself.
When both parties come to the table loved, inspired and empowered you are setting the relationship up to magnify and succeed.
When one or both parties are lacking self-love and motivation you enter a space of need rather than inspiration.
"Needing" your partner is not an inspiring relationship.
Start implementing these 3 things in your relationship today and see the changes unfold for the better.
I promise you they are worth trying!
Robyn Louise xx